Menu for Week of Feb 3rd through the 8th

I thought I'd take a few minutes and post a weekly menu here:

Monday:  Meatloaf & Potatoes
Tuesday: Leftovers OR Fried Rice
Wednesday:  Tacos
Thursday:  Black Bean Chili
Friday:  Chicken Enchilada's
Saturday:  Spaghetti
Sunday:  Pot Roast

Most of these recipes are "in my head", but I still haven't memorized the Chicken Enchilada one yet!

To check it out, click here.  This is one of those great recipes to bring to church potlucks.  People love these enchiladas!

Meatloaf is easy enough to make.  Hamburger, eggs, oatmeal or bread crumbs.   Chopped onions, too.  I like it to be not too soupy, just a good consistency to form into a loaf. . . Mix it with some ketchup and mustard, salt and pepper or if you prefer, BBQ or a difference sauce.  Make twice what you'll eat for supper that night and then you can slice it and have it in sandwiches the next day.

My hubby never put meat in his fried rice, just eggs, peas and carrots with plenty of soy sauce.  It is an inexpensive but yummy meal.

Tacos.  We don't "do" lettuce and fresh tomatoes.  We put a can of black beans in with the meat to stretch it and that makes it cost a little less per meal.  You can also throw some rice in with the taco meat to stretch it.

Black bean chili . . .basically, my Hubby doesn't like kidney beans, so I put about 2 small cans of black beans in with one small can of tomatoes.  I add that to my browned burger ( about a pound, with onions and chopped garlic and chili powder).  My family loves it with sour cream and cheese on top.

Spaghetti . . .I must admit that I this is my "lazy" meal.  Sauce from a jar, noodles from a box, bread from the store.  Do I get points for using real butter?  :)  And making a salad?

The roast, I have learned, is best if I brown in on all four sides in my cast iron skillet and cook it in said skillet with an envelope of onion soup and water about halfway up the side of the roast.   I know . . .not healthy, but it is yummy!  It is easy to put potatoes in a crock pot to cook while the roast cooks, too.

And that's it from me today.

My toddler is  being uber fussy today.  If it wasn't for big sister I wouldn't have gotten this thought about and typed up . . .thus my recent absences.  I hope some of these sound good to you!

~ Jennifer

One of "Those" Days . . .and Why I Call My Friends Every Now and Then

I knew it was going to be one of "those" days before I even got out of bed this morning.

For one thing, I had to be up late and then get up early . . .never a good sign.

We have some bills to pay that we can't pay right now.  Hubby was supposed to get paid on Monday but a client complained and so Hubby won't get paid until Boss gets a chance to look at the work and see if the client has a valid complaint or not.  I, obviously, don't think so.  Hubby does this kind of work all the time and is good at what he does.  But the point is, no dinero for us until this issue is resolved.

I have to take our son to the doctor today.  He was playing a little too rough with some of his classmates and got pushed to the ground hard enough that it broke his collarbone.  Really!?!  I mean, really!

The unfairness of it all welled up in my throat this morning and great waves of despair wanted to sweep over me.  I tried to call a new friend here.  No answer.  I tried an old friend from years ago.  No answer.

Now there is a reason I tried to call them . . .and I'll get into that soon . . .but first, let me tell you more about my day . . .

I settled for trying to do my dishes and then when Littlest didn't appreciate the gesture I sat and looked at books with her.

And oddly, the phone rang.  So while I talked to the new friend I got the rest of the dishwasher loaded!  Yay.

And then after that I was so tired but I thought that maybe I should have a snack.  I did.  I lost my motivation and drive.  I started reading a book on my kindle that is quite fluffy and I already know exactly how it will end . . .but that's okay.  I still want to see the main character succeed, if you know what I mean.

And then the phone rang.  It was my "old" friend calling.  She talked to me long enough for me to get a load of laundry folded and put away and another started.

Yes, talking is truly great.  It lets me be two people.  The hands that do and the brain that is elsewhere engaged.  It is a beautiful thing.

Does it work that way for you?

Here's hoping you aren't having one of "those" days!

Love,

~ Jennifer

Goals for the Week of January 26th - Feb 1, 2014

So here goes, in no particular order

1.  Get back into the "getting up at 7" pattern;  fell off the wagon due to being sick.
2.  Write a note to the sweet couple from Mom and Dad's church who are facing a very difficult diagnosis ( probably Lou Gehrig's in him)
3.  Find a card for my Grandma's b-day
4.  See if I can figure out how to print pictures off of my iPhone at Walgreens
5.  Start up with the basic morning routines as outlined on Flylady's website ( again!)
6.  Call or email 3 local people . . .working on building my friend network here.  Proving to be a challenge!  Also, call my far-away friends who have been on my heart . . .
7.  Get new tags on the car
8.  Make sure Firstborn has everything she needs for her trip out of town this weekend!
9.  Be kind to self as my list looks way less awesome than some lists I've seen :)
10.  Intentionally look for the good and praise it.

Of course there will be more going on at this house ( like meal planning and prep!) but this is a good start . . .

Good luck to all of you as you start your week!

Love,

~ Jennifer

Talking to Kids about Suicide

The other day I was driving my oldest daughter somewhere while we ran errands.  We were discussing some of the speeches that she'd been watching at her last speech meet.

Some of those speeches deal with some pretty heavy topics, like rape and parental abuse.

Firstborn made this observation "But you know what, they never make it to finals.  It doesn't matter how good they are, they never make it to finals."

Together we talked about why . . .and came to this conclusion  "Nobody wants to hear about that stuff."

Well, that's the way it is with suicide.  Nobody wants to hear about suicide.  I don't even want to blog about it.

So why am I?

Because it happens.  And because my kids are old enough to hear about it and comprehend that suicide is a thing.

So I talked to some people that I know who have been diagnosed with mental illness and of course, with that diagnosis is the tendency towards suicidal thoughts/urges when things go south.

And this is what they said to me, basically:

Let your kids know that there is help out there.  Get them to professional help.

Let them know that they are not alone.

Let them know that they can talk to you without fear that you will reject them if they let you see inside of them, how wretched they feel, how they are not living up to the standards that they know you want them to be living up to . . .

Let them know that you are there for them, that you are on their side.

One of my more colorful friends who actually works with teens as a resource person in her local school used some great wording

It's (mental illness is) an illness that is life threatening but IS NOT IN CHARGE! 

Suicide is always a choice, but it is the final choice. I'm sure we've all heard that at some point. But sometimes, it helps for kids to talk so someone they can't shock and to acknowledge that suicidal elephant in the room! It becomes much more an Us against the illness feeling rather than the kid being my do-good project.  

The more I think about it . . .and this is what I said to my daughter the other day . . .suicide happens when someone is in so much pain that they just want that pain to end and they can't think of any other way.

Suicide doesn't mean that a person is "crazy" or deficient in some way.  It means they are in a place where they need help fighting the illness.

I was really shocked this week when I heard about an old friend who had done something really horrible and out of character and then taken his own life.  He was a leader and a family man and someone that everybody loved.

And yet, apparently, he changed about nine months ago;  quit his job and began acting quite differently than he'd acted for the previous twenty years.  And it ended with him slumped over the wheel of his car, no longer able to be helped by anyone.  His last choice was a final choice, whether he realized it or not at the time.

Sounds like someone who was in a great, great deal of pain to me.  And maybe he didn't know where to go for help.  Where DO you go for help when everyone is looking to you to help them?  Where do you go?

I'll tell you where my friends who are still living after trying to commit suicide went:  to the doctor.  To the psych ward.  And you know what?

I wouldn't even know they'd ever been there if they hadn't told me.

And these are amazing people.  These are professional people, people who travel the world, people who write books,  create awesome jewelry,  and teach classes.  These are people who give television interviews and cook gourmet meals.

These are people who inspire me and make my life better because I know them.

Suicide.  It's an option, yes.  But it's the final option and I vote for HOPE, instead.

Hang
On
Pain
Ends

Love to all of you,

~ Jennifer

Choosing to Be Thankful Even Though This Wasn't The Best Day Ever

I am posting this early because I am sick and I don't anticipate blogging tomorrow.

I'll be playing "catch-up" with cleaning up the kitchen.  I made chicken and rice soup.  There's a mess in the kitchen but I'm just not up to cleaning it.

No one else in the family is up to cleaning the mess up either.

My three youngest kids are sick and my firstborn is totally worn out from a crazy week of rehearsing for a play she's in this weekend.

It was freezing today.  Poor Hubby worked outside in this all day long . . .the windchill was awful.

I would like to have some really great insight but no . . .

All I can say is this  "kids feel better when you serve them their get-better honey tea in honest to goodness tea-cups."

And people won't always eat your chicken soup but . . .they'll remember you cooked for them.

And it is really impossible to load a dishwasher and hold a sick toddler at the same time so . . .

You want to hear something funny?

I felt loved today because Hubby keeps my side of the garage clean so I can always park inside.  Yay!

And I also felt loved when I went outside and felt the frigid air and knew that he was outside working for me and the kiddos.  It was awful weather today!

I didn't ask him to clean for me because I know he's totally beat, too.  A different kind of beat, but still.

Talk to you all Later.

~Jennifer

Let's Make a Memory . . . No, Lots of Memories!

So this weekend Hubby packed us all up and we went for a drive;  five hours from our semi-warm town to the mountains . . .

It was beautiful.  There was snow and there were Evergreens with thick blankets of snow and a river running beside the road.

There were distant mountain peaks that turned pink as the sun was setting and there were close meadows where Hubby spotted elk bedded down.

I drank it all in.  I was happy as a clam.  I loved driving through the towns that really aren't so far from me but I've never seen them before because we are new to this part of the country.  

This is the West.  This is where old barns sit snugly in meadows and listen to the mountains sing them to sleep at night.  This is where horses frolic, cows live a life that I envy and where wildlife bigger than my German Shepherd is common.

This is where people in boots and fringed leather live.  This is the West.

I myself have roots in the Midwest.  I will always love it best.  But loving the prairie was what gave me eyes to see the beauty in the islands and the ocean and the now, the mountains.

If you're reading this and thinking that I am a one of those people who goes around with a Maria Von Trapp style smile, swirling about in ecstasy in nature, you're wrong.

Yesterday, when I picked my oldest up from school she looked over at me and said "Mom!  Is this a sarcastic text!?!"

What! Me?  Yes, honey.  But be glad because I'm only sarcastic when I'm in a good mood . . .seriously, when I get depressed I withdraw and don't say much at all.

What you just read, that description of our trip, is an Intentional Memory.

You see, when we got back from the trip on Sunday evening I was thinking about it and I was thinking things like this:

I wish it hadn't been so cold.

I wish we had eaten at that restaurant that I heard someone else raving about AFTER we ordered our just-ordinary, over-priced food.

I can't believe that I lost my favorite boots.

I started to realize that I was absolutely ruining my memory of this trip.  And if I said those things out loud,   I'd ruin the memory for my Hubby and my kids, too.

So when I talk about it, I'm going to talk about things like this:

Wasn't it awesome when we rolled the windows down and you guys "tasted a cloud" for the first time!

I always try to credit people with concepts, but I can't remember who came up with this one . . .it's not new to me, but I want to remember it always:

We remember what we want to remember.  We can remake the past by choosing what we dwell on.

It's so true.

I remember an unfortunate person that I know telling me about a get together with her husband's side of the family.  She told me, in front of her mother-in-law, how miserable she was.  How she felt out of place, how everyone else fit into the family and knew their roles, but she was new and didn't know what to do.

Her mother-in-law was speechless.  Later she said to me:  "But she had such a good time!  I watched her play the piano and sing!  She jumped right in there.  But then she went back and talked with her mother and they rewrote that whole experience in their heads."  The mother-in-law shook her head sadly . . .and you know what?  That marriage didn't last too long, either, which was too bad for everyone.

According to some sources we think the same thoughts over and over . . .98% of our thoughts are the same as what we thought on yesterday!  80% of most people's thoughts are negative!  Click here to learn more about that.

So if you're like me and so many other people . . .one of those people who defaults to negative . . .let's choose together to default to positive.  Let's be intentional about the memories we are making.  It's a God thing, you know . . .

Philippians 4:8 NIV

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

So go on and make a memory today!  And as life goes on,  lot's of memories.  Good ones.

~ Jennifer

Not Giving Up My Habit ( Even Though I Want To Some Days!)

Sometimes goals don't really seem that important;  resolutions that you made in January start to seem, well, not worth it come February.

I am at that point right now.

It seems like when I get up early my toddler gets up early, too.  And cries until I come and lay with her and she goes back to sleep.  That seems to defeat the purpose of getting up early!

So what to do?  Get up earlier?  Would that work?

Then I'm cutting into evening time with the family.  And yet I know that more important than anything is else is my relationship with God.  Granted, that happens all day long.  But I give it a place of honor by making it FIRST thing in the morning.

And so I'm going to press on.  I'm going to ask Hubby to help me get to bed earlier.

I'm still going to get up when the alarm clock goes off, even if I have to lay back down with my fluffy headed toddler for a few minutes.

I am going to go ahead and read my Bible and journal, even if I have a toddler scribbling on her paper at the table beside me and a ten year old eating a bagel on the other side and its hard to concentrate.

I am going to remember the good.  My house looks way better now that I have started getting up earlier.  You wouldn't think that would make a difference but somehow it does.

I have started couponing a little bit . . .I know that I saved $14 alone this week and last week just in CVS Extra Bucks on stuff that I would have bought us anyway.

I have also started to write out my meals for the week and get the ingredients so that I don't have to stand in front of the pantry and try to throw something together.  That's comforting.  I know that in a few minutes I'll go out to the kitchen and throw some frozen chicken, half a packet of taco seasoning, some lime juice and some cilantro in the crockpot and we'll have Lime Cilantro Chicken tacos for  supper . . .with next to no effort from me.

So this getting up early thing is good.  It's good to feel like I am living with intention.  And if it doesn't always feel good when I roll out of bed . . .well, it doesn't always feel good when a runner is only halfway through the race, either!  Or a student is only part way through writing a research paper.

But when it's all done, it feels really good.  And so it is with establishing this habit.

Good luck to you with YOUR habits, too!

~ Jennifer

Notes from a Couponer Wannabe: Part Three

We got to go on a little road trip this weekend!  Super fun!  We went up into the mountains and they were all covered in snow.  Unfortunately the only wildlife we spotted was of the two-legged variety, but maybe another time.

So anyway, that kind of pushed my couponing planning back a little bit.

BUT here's what I am planning to do this week.

On Couponing

Click here to see the site that explains about CVS and which coupons to pair with what sales.

1.  Basically it works like this:  buy a Sunday paper.

2.  When the different Coupon Divas ( such as Crystal from Money Saving Mom and Erin from 5 Dollar Dinners) post their coupon formulas on Facebook,  find the coupons in your stash from the Sunday papers and clip them.  If they are printable coupons, it will probably say so and you can search for them and print them.

3.  Take to the drugstore the coupons that the Divas have mentioned, find the proper brand.  Buy enough to get the CVS Extra Bucks if you are at CVS and there, you did it!  You saved money!  Yay!

My first time trying this was with diapers.  I had to buy $30 of diapers to get $10 in CVS bucks.  I didn't realize that they had to have the little CVS Extra Bucks sign above them to get the deal.  I thought I was buying Pampers because I had a coupon for them.  Nope.

But it was a learning experience.  Yesterday Firstborn needed eyeliner so I told her we'd go to CVS and use the Extra Bucks to buy it.  Without our $10 Extra Bucks it would have been about $13.  So I spent $3 out of pocket for two eyeliner pencils.   BUT they were running a Extra Buck deal Buy $12 worth of Maybelline Eye Makeup, get $4 in Extra Bucks.  So I actually had a $1 leftover if you think in terms of Extra Bucks being cash.

But I had to ask for my Extra Bucks.  They didn't actually come up on their own.  Still.

Not bad.  Not bad.  :)

Have fun with this!

~ Jenn

PS:  If you are new to this, couponing can be overwhelming.  I mean . . .to me, it's a bit like exercising.  You don't just jump in there and do everything that the experts do on your first time out.  It takes awhile to get those pathways in your brain created . . .the ones that "get" exactly what's going on.  It is definitely a skill!  But that's the great thing about our brains!  They were made to adapt and learn new things!  So I am going to press on.  :)

How My Goals For Jan 12 - 18th Turned Out

At the bottom of this post is my first ever "to-do" list of personal goals for a week;  I think I did pretty good with it.

I do think that maybe I was overly ambitious.  I kind of got on a couponing/meal-planning tangent.  I ended up finding a site about taking survey's for money and was very excited that I racked up $5 dollars in just a few minutes.  Then I realized I had to do $30 before I could GET my money.  But Secondborn needed help with Algebra and I couldn't do both . . .poke around on the site and help Secondborn.  So maybe that won't be an option for me, but if you want to check it out, click here.

I don't know if I am going to have "blog" goals this coming week.   Honestly, I am happy if my blog helps other people and I hope it does but I don't really enjoy playing around with formatting and such ( I wish I DID enjoy that because I like looking at other people's "pretty" blogs) and even though it would be nice to earn money off of my blog . . .I think I need to concentrate on just making sure I have the time to write on a regular basis right now!

Also, trying to do extra stuff kind of derailed my MAIN objective, to get up early every day in January.  I got worn out and even though I woke up at seven I didn't get out of bed on Sunday morning or this morning ( Martin Luther King Jr. day . . .kid's don't have school).   Not getting up early also messed with my keeping the house in order which makes me sad.  I like having a clean kitchen smiling at me when I get up early.

The truth is, Hubby also likes me to have extra time to do things with him.  Twice this week he asked me to go out with him in the evening to check out sales on items we need.  And this weekend he took the kids and I on an impromptu road trip to pick up work supplies.  It was to a pretty part of the country that I've never been to and I loved going but it did mess with my getting up in the morning as we stayed up late at the hotel swimming in the pool . . .

So being out late several nights did mess with my getting up early.  And not getting up early seriously messes with my quiet time and blogging time.  I can do it with the kids around but it is not nearly as enjoyable.  I end up having to stop every two or three minutes and say things like "Littlest!  You can color on paper, but not on the floor."  Then I go get a rag, hand it to her and teach her how to clean up the mess.   Then she cries and I comfort her.  You can see how this is less than ideal for any kind of thinking activity, lol.

So, basically, this is my conclusion about this week's goals:

Less Goals.  Do Better With the Ones You Choose to Do.  Remember that People are More important that Things and be Thankful that Your People want you around!!!

And I am not going to go look at other people's goals this week or I will feel bad about mine.  Not a good thing.  I have compared myself to people in other areas and felt like this:  I won't even try XYZ project because I can never be as good as So and So!  Never!  So what's the point?

So this week's goals are

1.  Get up at or before 7 every day all week
2.  Use either Ibotta or Checkout 51 on your grocery receipt
3.  Shop at CVS using my CVS extra bucks and buy make-up for self and daughter. Hopefully        they'll have some on sale!
4.  Make a meal plan before going grocery shopping;  look in fridge to see what you already have and plan around that.
5.  Make sure to quiz Thirdborn every day on her spelling words in preparation for the upcoming spelling bee.
6.  Go to Flylady's site and read about routines.  Try to find something there to implement into my life.
7.  Call a potential friend.  Have her over for coffee.  Talk to Hubby about a potential Super Bowl party and who we could invite.
8.  Reserve Ann Voskamps book, One Thousand Gift's from the library.  Click here to see more.  :)

The List that Was Too Much from Jan 12 - 18th

My Personal List

1. Go to the Library & Find Books On

~  Goals

~ Home Money Management

~ A Random Book

~ Gratitude

~ Relationships

~ Blogs 

2. Research Flylady for Guidance on Weekend Cleaning/Extra cleaning beyond Morning Routine

3.  Spend 30 minutes working on menu planning

4.  Spend 30 minutes working on how to use coupons
5.  Buy a Sunday Paper.  Look for coupons you'd like to use on Sunday Afternoon

Marriage/Family

1.  Bring the Windows into the House.  Talk to Hubby about where to hang them.  Look for appropriate pictures to go behind the windows.  Praise him excessively for bringing them home for you.

2.  Look for a chair for K

3.  Pray for Sunday to Go Smoothly.  Don't let your attitude stink.  Have the kiddos pick out their clothes on Sat. so they are ready to go in the morning. Pick out your own outfit Sat. night.  Make muffins or something so people have something to grab on their way out the door.

4.  Write a love note to Hubby;  put it in his truck

5.  Research and start to write out a plan for how the kids can successfully clean their rooms and keep it clean.  Praise them excessively for their good work in this area.

6.  Ask Hubby how we can keep E's artwork on the wall.

Children/Homeschooling

1.  Make sure you do nightly meals as much as possible

2.  Pray with the kiddos before they leave the house.

3.  Find 2 breakfast ideas that they express some enthusiasm for
4.  Make at least one of those ideas this week

Blogging Goals

1.  Blog M-F
2.  Read other people's blogs on Sat. 
3.  Comment on at least on other person's blog on Sat
4.  See if my blog has a search button.  If not, try to figure out how to put one on it.

Notes From a Couponer Wannabe: Part Two

Last week I talked about how I want to coupon.  I like the idea the idea of taking $1 off a product.  I like the idea of getting to keep more money in my pocket instead of always shelling it out.

So last week I bought a Sunday paper and went through the ads.

I actually didn't get too far with that.  Littlest came in while I was sorting through them and she jumped in on the bed and they went flying and I was afraid they'd get crumpled or ripped so I put them in a pile and they are hiding in a cupboard untouched since The Attack of the Toddler.

But I did use some coupons this week.  I downloaded coupons onto my Smartphone from Target.  I found out about them because MoneySaving Mom is on my Facebook feed.  I was disappointed to discover that my Target doesn't carry a lot of the products that were on sale via the Smartphone coupons.  Still, I got $1.25 off on frozen chicken.  That was cool.

Then there was the Walgreens shopping experience.  I normally pay $3.99 a gallon for milk.  That's basically $4 a gallon . . .This week I paid $1.99 a gallon ( $2).

So instead of $12 in milk I paid $6.  That felt good.  It also felt good to know that I could go to Wal-mart to pick up the bag of Cuties that I promised Firstborn for her speech meet and while there get milk for the same price as at Walgreens just by asking.  But I did bring the wrong brand of milk to the counter.  Apparently the brands matter . . .so I found out what my Wal-mart prefers and next time I'll know.

I went to my local Albertson's and there I had the annoying experience of having my bread ring up at $2.59 vs the $1.49 that I thought it was.  When I pointed this out to the clerk she gave it to me at the lower price.  So that was a savings of $1.10.

Just doing that math it looks like I saved

$1.25
  6.00
  1.10
  8.35

This may not seem like a lot to. . .it's NOT a lot, really.  But it is a start.

I have been reading about other ways to save money.  There are apps where you scan your receipt ( Ibotta & Checkout 51) and so next time I go to the grocery store I plan to scan my receipt with Checkout 51 to see how that works for me.

Another thing I'm going to do is get Hubby to help me figure out our cantankerous printer so that I can print out coupons for things I know we will use ( diapers, razors, deodorant, feminine products etc.)

Edited to add:  I spent $30 at CVS on baby products and got $10 back in CVS ExtraBucks which means I can go in there and buy $10 worth of stuff without cash.  I did print out $3.50 worth of coupons so that means that my coupon savings this week actually come to:

 8.35
 3.50
11.85

plus $10 to spend later

$21.85!  Yay!  I'm excited!

Be well and comment and tell me if you are couponing and how it's going for you!

~ Jennifer

On Enjoying Your Children, Parenting: Part Two

This post is for you, dear reader.  But it's for me, too, because I have to choose to enjoy my children some days.  It isn't always my natural response.  Parenting well is an intentional endeavor.  If you missed my first post on parenting, click here for a definition of parenting and some thoughts on how to encourage your kiddos.

But now here's some of my thoughts on enjoying your little people . . .

Choose to Be Flexible

I woke up early this morning, even though I didn't want to get up.  Twice this week Hubby and I have had to go out to look for things we need in the evenings and it has interfered with my "going to bed" early plans.  It's Friday and I'm tired.

I actually thought about sleeping in but I am super glad I got up because Secondborn had overslept and would have missed the bus if I hadn't gotten up and checked on him.  He's usually up at 5:45 and puttering around!

But I digress.  Back to the flexible bit . . .I said all that to say this . . .I was planning on Littlest sleeping in so I could do my devos and blog in peace.  But she woke up.

So I went and lay down beside her and tried to get her to go back to sleep.  I really thought I'd gotten her to sleep . . .I crept stealthily out of bed and but she SPRUNG up and joined me.  Sigh.

At this point I had two choices.  Be crabby and angry that I could not blog . . .I really want to be consistent about blogging M-F . . .or be flexible and figure something out for Littlest to do without ignoring her.  So she's got some snacks right now and we are making faces back and forth over the laptop screen. . . not my first choice.  I'd rather she was in bed asleep . . .but it is a better choice than me being resentful and surly with my child.

From past experience I've discovered that discontentment is contagious.  Whoever said that "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" knew what he was talking about, even if he didn't know his grammar!

Teach Your Kiddos Listening Skills

My oldest two are about two years apart.  I'm not sure where I learned to take their chubby little faces in my hands and say "Look in my eyes!" . . .but I did that a lot.  I made sure I had their complete attention before asking them to do anything.  When they got older I'd say "Look at my eyes" and take my middle and index fingers and lay them right under my eyes in a "Look at me" gesture.  It worked so well that one time I caught myself saying it to Hubby.  He was not amused  . . .but it does seem a little funny now.  :)

Now that they are older I don't do that anymore, but I do make sure we are looking into each other's eyes when we communicate and if necessary I turn off the television or put my phone down and turn my whole person towards them and say "Okay, tell me again what you were saying" because I want to model to them how to listen and besides, if I don't do that . . .I won't hear them either!

Teach Your Kiddos to Care about Each Other

"Families and communities are at their best when they care for one another." ~ unknown.  I love that quote!  It's not okay to be mean to your brother or your sister just because society seems to condone it and sitcoms make it seem super funny.  When my oldest two were little we learned to sing the Bible verse that says "Do to others as you would have them do to you . . ."  What an important concept!

Make Them Take Ownership For Their Choices

Let's talk about choices a little.  Being kind, for example,  is a CHOICE.  Your child can choose to be kind, or he/she can choose not to be kind.  You are the parent.  You decide what the consequence is.  It will be different for each child.  I have one child who fits this little ditty perfectly "When she was good she was very, very good.  But when she was bad, she was horrid."

One day I was horrified to see her little sister mirror her pouty lip, her stomp, her hands on her hips when she was angry.  At that moment I realized that I had to nip this in the bud. My approach went like this:  "Sweetie, I want you to change your attitude.  In fact, if you will change your attitude for the week I'll let you pick new art supplies out on Friday."

She didn't care about that.  She was MAD.  Then I said, "Fine, no new art supplies.  But if you stay with a bad attitude, you will lose your iPod for Saturday and Sunday.  Your choice."  And guess what?  She chose to keep the iPod.  It was her choice.

This concept is important because otherwise you may end up with self-centered, unpleasant children who cry because no one wants to be their friend.

Be Calm and Parent On

It  could happen.   You could get frustrated with your child.   Maybe.  Let's just say you lose your temper and say something like "That's it!!!! You never pick up your shoes!  I am throwing all your shoes away this very minute!"

Well, that is a bad thing.  For one, once you calm down you'll realize that if you don't follow through they'll be like . . ."Yeah, right.  Mom always gets mad and says stupid stuff that she doesn't do.  So I don't need to do what she says."  So this is bad because no parent wants their kid to stop respecting them or listening to them.

OR if you follow through, YOU suffer because then you have to shell out your money for new shoes for your kid ( Unless he or she has a nice piggy bank.  If that's the case, make them pay and it will work much better than you replacing the shoes, but you'll still end up replacing that money at some point which is bad.)

All of the above points are require you to be conscientious and intentional in your parenting.  They can be pretty tiring.

So let's make the last point fun!

Enjoy Your Kids!

Go on!  Tickle them.  Make faces with them.  Blow bubbles.  Go to the park.  Toss a ball around.  Exercise!  If they're older, watch movies together.  Tell them corny jokes and about silly stuff that happened when you were their age.  Look through old pictures together and let them make fun of your hair twenty years ago.

Make sure they know that you love them!  And make sure that they know that you like them, too.

Edited to Add:  I'm not sure where that story about shoes came from  . . .maybe from Focus on the Family, the Radio show?  I listen to them a lot.  In fact, if you are looking for someone who really know what he's talking about when it comes to kids, you'd probably love Kevin Leman.  I have heard him speak more than once on Focus on the Family.  Click here to learn more!

Love,

~ Jennifer

My Friend, the Poem "Myself"

I'm going to share another of my favorite poems with you and this is why:

So often we try to please others and we can't and we end up miserable.  The truth is, do your best and as Dr. Suess says "Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."  ( which by the way is not always true;  sometimes those that we love or respect the most don't understand and that hurts terribly.)

But it will be a great balm for your soul if you are the sort of person you know you should be and it will cut way, way down on the misunderstandings in your life if you are the sort of person you know you should be.  Enjoy the poem, whether it is an old friend to you or a new one!

~ Jennifer

"Myself"

by Edgar A. Guest

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able as days go by,
To look at myself straight in the eye.
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I've done.

I don't want to hide on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
What kind of man I really am;
I don't want to dress myself in sham.

I want to go with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men's respect
And in this struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I am a bluster and empty show.

I cannot hide myself from me;
I can see what others can never see;
I know what others can never know,
I cannot fool myself, and so

Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

Why Don't People Chase Their Dreams?

Why do people sit and do nothing very profitable, such as playing internet games with no point?  Why?

Here are my top reasons why people don't do anything towards their dreams.

Number One:  No Dreams!

I have been guilty of sitting and doing nothing very profitable at many points in my life.  During some of those points I was so depressed and so discouraged that I couldn't see anything good anywhere.  Or even if I could "see" it, I couldn't "feel" it and that was horribly frightening and terrible.

So I 'd stay tucked in bed as long as possible and when I got up I would inevitably be greeted by chaos and then I'd want to retreat into my bedroom and close the door until I could muster up the strength to go out there and face the music.

Number Two:  Overwhelming Feelings of Being Alone and Not Knowing Where to Find Help

I felt so alone at that point in my life;  not physically.  I had three small children, a rat terrier and of course, my loving and faithful husband.   What a wonderful man!  But even my husband who always knew how to fix everything didn't know how to fix me.

The first two doctor's we saw didn't know how to fix me, either.  In fact, I got worse.

It was truly awful and I hated who I was and my inability to be the person I'd always expected to be.  I didn't even feel like I could reach out to my friends because at that point I was so bad at being a friend . . .I couldn't have someone over for coffee and chat because I had nothing to say to and besides, I couldn't really find the kitchen table.

Number Three:  Lack of Belief that the Dreams Could Really Come True/Lack of Belief in Self

Now I've conquered number one and number two.  I can think of things I'd like to do now (number one) .  I haven't written them all down and made them crystal clear goals, but if you asked me about my "bucket list", I'd be able to tell you about things I'd like to try, places I'd like to go, opportunities I would like to provide for my children.

I'm reaching out to people here in this new town (number two).  It's slow, but I do reach out and they reach back.  Also, I call friends from the places we've lived before and keep in touch.  I find that if you treat people well, they treat you well.

But back to Number Three:

One of the things I'd like to see happen involves networking marketing.  I could really use the money for my family.  I have been talking to a friend about a business opportunity and she's been pushing me;  she's being involved in this company for awhile now and she thinks I've got "what it takes."  I'm balking.  Honestly, balking.  I believe in the product.  ( It's the only thing that we've found that could get my Hubby to stop drinking Red Bull and apparently it has helped other people stop drinking Mountain Dew,  Diet Soda, Coffee . . .and it is a plant based vitamin drink.  What's not to love about that?)

But for some reason I have this mental block.  I can't talk about this product and this company with people.  They'll think I'm pushy and I don't want to be perceived as pushy.  But I'd sure love to earn extra money for my kids and I'd sure love to win a trip or two.  That would be awesome!  But other people are the one's who are wildly successful at this kind of thing, not me.

Number Four:  Lack of a Plan

Now I think that Number Three can be conquered.  It will just take getting a plan of action put into place and then implementing the plan.  So the way to solve number three is simple: solve number Four!  Make a Plan and then . . .

Go Forth and Do.

So let's summarize:  If you are sitting on your butt doing nothing you need to

1.  Get a Dream!  You probably have one stashed in the closet of your mind, back from when you were young and thought you could conquer the world!  Get it out.  Dust it off.

2.  Realize you aren't alone.  The internet alone is full of support groups and forums;  Real life is better;  I recommend taking your dog to the dog park, if you have a dog, or your child to the park, if you have a child.  If you are dogless and childless, take yourself out walking, and to church.  There are people in those places!

3.  Build confidence in yourself.   Think about things you've done in the past.  You've accomplished things you didn't want to do at the time because it was painful:  school projects, athletic goals, etc.  And see Number 4!

4.  Make a plan.  Get a friend to help you and if you  don't have that then, go on and read about goal-setting and habits and such.  Thousands of people have changed their lives by making plans.  You can, too.  For more on my personal goal setting and such look over my archives . . .or just click here if you don't feel like choosing one yourself.

Love,

~ Jennifer

PS:  If you feel like I used to feel when it comes to not being able to get out of bed or face the world, please, please find someone to help you figure that out.  If I can go from being basically non-functional to happy to face the day every morning, you can, too.

For Struggling Menu-Planning, Coupon User Wanna-Bes Like Me

Would you rather hear the bad news first or the good news first?

Let's go with the BAD news.

On Sunday I bought a paper.

I brought it home, spread it out on my bed and tried to organize the coupons into piles.

Pile A:  I would use this!

Pile B:  I would NOT use this!

Pile C:  I might use this.  Maybe.

Pile D:  Store sale fliers.

Then my darling two year old came into my room and tried to jump on the bed.  She cried when I would not allow her to rip and crumple the coupons.

Quickly I put all the coupons into a pile on my dresser where they have been for the past two days.  I have thought about them.  I thought about them when I was at the store yesterday, but alas.  That is as far as I've gotten.

Clearly I need a better system if I am to ever use coupons successfully.

That's the BAD news.

Now for the GOOD news.

The good news is:

Numero Uno:

 I found a great ebook about salads!  It's called Salads to Go by Arnel Ricafranca.  Click here to learn more!  As I type this it is free for your kindle.  Yay!  Free!

If you can't get the book, here is the basic principle:  put a olive oil/vinegar dressing on the bottom of a mason jar.   Put veggies, meat and cheese next.  Put salad greens last, with a paper towel on top to absorb moisture.  Take to work the next day.  Shake and enjoy.

Well, I was delighted to find that the dressing recipes were doable.  I have always been afraid of homemade salad dressings.  I took her first recipe and altered it a bit.  I didn't choose all the veggies she recommended.  Instead I tried to find less expensive veggies that would offer similar texture experiences and similar taste experiences.  For example, I subbed in cauliflower for broccoli because my husband despises broccoli but will eat cauliflower.  Also, I omitted the sugar snap peas and went for diced celery instead.

I was pleased that the entire family, except for the two year old DID eat some salad.  Hubby even complimented the salad and Firstborn said she'd take it to school if I'd make it for her.  So that was a win-win.

I still haven't planned my entire menu for the week out.  I was pretty much just trying to buy suitable veggies for the salads that I hope to serve at least three times this week.  That is pretty ambitious for me because we almost NEVER eat salad around here.  Sad but true.

Numero Dos:

I found this really promising site to poke around on.  Click on www.5dollardinners.com to see some great menu planning ideas.  I made Lime Cilantro Chicken and I LOVED it.

So many uses!  You can eat it as Lime Cilantro Tacos or you can stretch it by using the meat in a Lime Cilantro Black Bean soup.  Mmmmmm.  Tasty.

Here's

Numero Tres:

This is just a rough draft, might change it up a bit, my menu for the week.  It was really easy to come up with Sunday & Monday since they have already happened!  Yes, I am laughing out loud.

1.  Sunday:  Leftover Mac and Cheese from Saturday got mixed with freshly browned ground beef;  put french fried onions on top and baked.  Ate a yummy salad from a bag that Hubby picked up.  Was inspired to buy my own produce and make my own yummy salads.

2.  Monday:  Cooked up a ham that Hubby had bought because it was on sale.  Served with salad ( see Numero Uno) and potatoes.  No one left the table hungry!  :)

3.  Tuesday:  Ham must be repurposed today.  Ham and Bean Soup.  Salad  ( with olive oil/vinegar dressing, tomatoes, bell pepper & carrots).  Biscuits or Malt o Meal Magic Muffins which taste a lot like cornbread.

4.  Wednesday:  Lime Cilantro Chicken Tacos;  find a yummy coleslaw recipe to serve on the side since I bought red cabbage for going into salads.

5.  Thursday:  Lime Cilantro Chicken Black Bean Soup;  no side of produce because this soup is full of veggies;  serve with crackers, biscuits or the Malt o Meal Magic Muffins

6.  Friday:  Pork Chops in Crockpot.  This is not healthy, but it is EASY.  Dredge chops in flour, salt and pepper.  Brown.  Spread Mustard on Chops.  Put in Crockpot.  Put Cream of Chicken soup over the Chops.  Cook all day.  Serve over rice or potatoes or whatever.  Make veggie to go with.

7.  Saturday:  Spaghetti with a Salad and Bread that has been toasted under the Broiler with a bit of butter and garlic salt.

Well, Littlest is awake!  Guess it's time to post this!  Sorry if there are any errors!

Happy Couponing and Meal Planning to You,

~ Jennifer

It Sure Is Monday; An Update on my Goals

So I decided I am going to set a goal EVERY month this year.  I want them to be keystone habits and to have spillover effects.  For more on what a keystone habit is, click here.  You'll be inspired, I promise!

I won't decide on February's goal until the end of January and so forth.  That way if I decide that I need to "tweak" the direction I'm headed mid-year I won't feel like I'm locked into something I set in January.

Here's a quick review of January's goal:

January's Goal:  Get up by seven every day during January.

How's that going for me?  Well, pretty good.  I have started setting my alarm for a bit before seven so that if I want to hit the snooze once or twice I can, though I know that some experts on getting up earlier say that is a bad habit.

I think I could make my mornings even smoother by laying my clothes out the night before.  I have to leave the lights low because our youngest still sleeps in our room.

I am in an awkward place.  Second born gets up at 5:45 and he doesn't leave for school until 7:20.   This is every day Monday through Friday.   It means I'd be in the kitchen doing my devotions with another person which might feel awkward.  But then again . . .maybe not and it would be a good example to set for him.  And if I wait until the older two leave at 7:20 I'm getting a late start on homeschooling and such because it takes awhile to do my devotions and blog.

Yesterday was Sunday and I still got up early.  Hubby had asked a buddy over to watch football in the afternoon so that was great motivation for me to clean the main floor bathroom.  I also got the dishwasher unloaded and fried up eggs for the kiddos.

Honestly, I should have cut the cleaning short, though because I started the getting ready for church process later than I should have.  BUT . . .

Getting ready for church required almost no thought because I had laid out clothes the night before, not just for me, but also for the two younger girls.  We didn't have to hunt for shoes or a brush or any of that.

What a contrast to previous Sunday mornings when I'd get NO cleaning or cooking done and would barely get out the door in time for church.  On those mornings I'd be barking at the kids and Hubby and we'd all be so unhappy when we reached church.

So, all in all, I am happy with this goal, this keystone habit.

I am also happy with this decision:

Don't pile extra stuff on top of the goal; if you get extra done, great. If not, no biggie.

I think I should also mention that along with getting up earlier every day this month I have also observed spillover effects from my Keystone Habit of getting up earlier everyday because I now do these two things almost every day, too.  ( But if I don't, I don't beat myself up.)

1.  Shine My Sink Every Night!

and

2. Make My Bed Every Morning!

If you are just getting started in getting goals figured out, let me tell you, it is SO WORTH IT!

PS  I stuck four helpful links in this entry!  I hope you find them and read them when you have the time :)

Love,

~ Jennifer

When the Girl in the Mirror Isn't Doing So Hot ( on Mental Illness)

It's Sunday.  Hubby got up early to try to get some work done before some church and I got up early, too.  Not because I wanted to but because my goal for January is to get up by seven everyday and I enjoy the quiet time that comes with being up early anyway and I sure didn't want to oversleep and be frazzled or mess up my sleep patterns!  I've worked too hard establishing them.

When I got to the kitchen I was so pleased by how clean it is.  I thought about how my Hubby and two middle kids helped make dinner last night and then helped clean up!  There was a really sweet spirit all through the dinner hour.  We missed Firstborn because she was at a school function but still, it was a good time.

Hubby made burgers and macaroni and cheese ( from scratch!)  I am blessed and I know I am.

But I haven't always been able to pad out of bed early in the morning with a song in my heart.

There have been many, many mornings when I didn't come into a kitchen with a shiny sink, but a kitchen full of dirty dishes and a floor that needed swept.  I've had too many mornings where the counter was sticky and I could not find a coffee cup that didn't have something brown in the bottom of it.

Yep, I know what it's like for the Girl in the Mirror to Not be Doing so Hot.

I want to say something to you if you aren't doing so hot:  it's okay.  It is okay to be a mess.  Actually, it's pretty common.   Click here if you are interested in just how common it is.

Now I want to say something else.  It is NOT okay to beat yourself up over being a mess.  And it is not okay to stay a mess.   What you need is help.  If you've been reading this blog it's because you want to be the best version of yourself because that is what I'm writing about when I come here.  I don't think that people who don't care about being a better version of themselves read about goals or how to be a better parent.  They just don't.

If you are able to take the principles that other people teach and see a difference in your life, that is wonderful!

But if you read what they say and what I say and you just want to cry because it is too hard to implement in your own life, you need to get help.

I personally take meds every day that allow my brain to do the heavy lifting that it has to do for my hands and feet to get out of bed everyday and go forth and do.

When my brain is broke I can physically walk around and I can do dishes,  physically.  I can even cook or fold laundry.  But my really huge big problem is this:  I can't concentrate.   It is almost impossible for me to complete tasks when I am in bad place because my brain keeps forgetting and jumping around from thought to thought and so my hands don't continue doing the laundry.  Or I just can't decide on what to make for supper so I don't make any supper at all.

Worse yet, I get what I call "the bad loops" playing through my brain.   These are the accusing thoughts that say I'm no good and that my kids would be better with a different person caring for them and even more horrible things than that.  Now I'm not going to go any more deeply into the "bad loops" but  I wanted to say that when I'm on my meds they stop.

Edited to add that my thinking didn't become "perfect" after I got on proper meds but I was able to think on proper meds instead of feeling like I was going crazy.  Off the meds I knew I that the thoughts plaguing me were counter to everything I had been taught but they were so powerful that it was almost impossible to fight them.  It wore me down trying.  It was terrible.  On the meds and with the help of others who had fought MI and a therapist I found could really change the negative loops and they don't dominate my day-to-day thoughts anymore.

When I first got sick I thought I was just lazy;  I thought I needed to read some books on positive thinking or something like that.  Maybe pray more.   You can read more about my story if you look in the archives of this blog.

I thought I could handle it by myself and that I shouldn't bother anybody else by telling them about the  severe distress I was in.

But I was really, really wrong.  The best thing for the people you love is to figure out what your problem really is and if it is something that needs meds, take them.  There is no shame in regulating your brain chemistry so that you can function.  None at all.

There's a lot of debate out there about natural fixes and such and I'm not going to get into all that, but my point is this.

If the Girl in the Mirror Needs Help, get her that help.  Yesterday.

PS  If you don't know where to get help, google NAMI and your local biggest city and explain your situation.  They'll help you.

Love,

~ Jennifer

Weekly Goals for January 12-18th, 2014

So,   Crystal from Money Saving Mom is a big fan of goals.  Because I read her blog on a somewhat regular basis I have decided to make my own first-ever weekly list of goals.  I did read other people's blog about goals and here are the two blogs that most influenced this list:  Crystal's Goals and Michelle's Goals.

As I re-read Crystal's list it occurred to me that she only listed out ten goals which is probably wise.  Perhaps next time I will limit myself to ten goals as well.

But, for what it's worth . . .here's my rough-draft list.  Let's see how things go.  :)

PS:  I apologize for my sloppy posts the last couple of days ( including today).  I did not realize how bad they look until I took a minute to preview them . . .I am still new at this and do not know how to make things look the way I want them to look without spending more time than I have on the blog.

My Personal List

1. Go to the Library & Find Books On

~  Goals

~ Home Money Management

~ A Random Book

~ Gratitude

~ Relationships

~ Blogs 

2. Research Flylady for Guidance on Weekend Cleaning/Extra cleaning beyond Morning Routine

3.  Spend 30 minutes working on menu planning

4.  Spend 30 minutes working on how to use coupons
5.  Buy a Sunday Paper.  Look for coupons you'd like to use on Sunday Afternoon

Marriage/Family

1.  Bring the Windows into the House.  Talk to Hubby about where to hang them.  Look for appropriate pictures to go behind the windows.  Praise him excessively for bringing them home for you.

2.  Look for a chair for K

3.  Pray for Sunday to Go Smoothly.  Don't let your attitude stink.  Have the kiddos pick out their clothes on Sat. so they are ready to go in the morning. Pick out your own outfit Sat. night.  Make muffins or something so people have something to grab on their way out the door.

4.  Write a love note to Hubby;  put it in his truck

5.  Research and start to write out a plan for how the kids can successfully clean their rooms and keep it clean.  Praise them excessively for their good work in this area.

6.  Ask Hubby how we can keep E's artwork on the wall.

Children/Homeschooling

1.  Make sure you do nightly meals as much as possible

2.  Pray with the kiddos before they leave the house.

3.  Find 2 breakfast ideas that they express some enthusiasm for
4.  Make at least one of those ideas this week

Blogging Goals

1.  Blog M-F
2.  Read other people's blogs on Sat. 
3.  Comment on at least on other person's blog on Sat
4.  See if my blog has a search button.  If not, try to figure out how to put one on it.

How to Be Encouraging in Your Parenting

Parenting.  That thing people should do when they have children.  Looks much easier to non-parents in Wal-mart than it actually is.

Okay, okay!  My definition is a little lacking.  Here's what the free online dictionary had to say about the subject:

par·ent·ing  (pârn-tng, pr-) n. The rearing of a child or children, especially the care, love, and guidance given by a parent.

Care.  Love.  Guidance.

Yep, that about covers it.

Here's something I believe about parenting:  we must intentionally encourage our children.

I was at my local grocery store the other day when I saw a small child in a cart.  The mother was ignoring the child and finally child did something naughty enough to provoke the mother to say "Why did you do that!?!  That's NOT nice!"

Well, I hate to admit it, but I, too have ignored my child until she did something naughty enough that I finally looked up and said basically the same thing.  

I have had to be very intentional about encouraging my later-born children.  It came so naturally to me with my firstborn.  She was the center of my universe and so it was easy to pay attention to her and besides, this was before smart-phones and Facebook!  I am just half-kidding when I say that about smartphones and Facebook.  I enjoy both of those items but have learned to put my phone in a bowl on my kitchen counter and leave it there unless I am specifically taking a break from cooking, cleaning and homeschooling because otherwise my smart-phone and Facebook are great tools for me to IGNORE what I'm trying to accomplish.

If you really want to encourage your child, listen to him or her.  Really listen.  That means eye contact.  That means turning off the radio or TV if necessary.  That means asking questions.

If you really want to encourage your child, be kind and patient.  It is HARD to be kind and patient when you are really just trying to finish adding the last two ingredients to that dish you are making for supper before you pop it in the oven and suddenly your two-year old grabs the flour and pours it ALL OVER the floor.

It is HARD to be kind and patient when your ten-year old lobs a piece of dirty laundry at your head as you are stepping out of the laundry room, deep in thought about the errands you are dreading running and the best way to take care of them . . .

But it is worth it.

Being encouraging means you take the time you need to be a relaxed person, a person who has already processed the things that stress you out badly BEFORE you need to be fully devoted to another person's care, love and guidance.  

This is why I'm working on getting to bed sooner and getting up sooner.   I can't roll out of bed at the same time as my kids or after they do and be nice.  I need that quiet time alone in the morning.

And being encouraging means you notice and praise your kids for what they do right.  As I type this I can hear my ten-year old teaching my two-year old how to empty the dishwasher.  "Hand me a fork!  Aren't these big bowls?"  I am amazed that my older child is doing this because I didn't ask her to empty the dishwasher.  I did ask her to hang out with her sis so I could finish this blog entry because once again my two-year old woke up early and interrupted "my" time . . .but anyway,  when I'm done here my girls are getting lots of hugs and some kisses and praise for taking the initiative to help without being told to help.  I'll tell them what a great life skill they are developing and how proud I am of them.  I won't give them candy or money or anything like that . . .I believe that learning satisfaction from a job well done is a great reward.  

But later I'll be more relaxed;  they'll be more relaxed and if we just happen to bake cookies or something like that . . .it will be a result of their positive behavior which is a result of MY positive behavior . . .getting up early so that I greeted them with smiles and praise for their actions earlier today.

Let's live our lives win-win.

Now, Go Forth and Do,

~ Jennifer

Goals = An Epiphany

Last night I crawled into bed later than I wanted to because  . . . well, because I had to go get the kids from youth group at 9:30 and then I really wanted a yummy breakfast casserole to eat this morning and had to finish making it when I got home and THEN I had to clean up the kitchen because I didn't want to get up to a messy kitchen.

I drug myself out of bed this morning on time.  I was sweet to Hubby;  I went out and prayed with the two older kids before the bus came.  They actually ate a hot, nutritious breakfast.

I read my Bible.  I got halfway through my ten minutes of prayer and then Baby Girl showed up.  Since she is at potty-training stage I immediately whisked her away to the bathroom and read to her while she worked on her goal:  learning how to potty like a BIG girl.

Then Hubby swung by the house for something he'd forgotten.  Found that item.  Got my homeschooling child breakfast, did devotions with her, started her on math . . .

Realized HOW SLEEPY I WAS and thought that maybe exercise would wake me up.  Set the timer for 15 minutes and we stretched, raced around a bit . . .STILL SLEEPY!  

Made coffee.  Decided to blog while Homeschooling Child and Baby Girl hang out . . .

So how am I doing with my goal?

January's Goal:  Get up by seven every day in January.

 I am doing fine, I guess, when I look at it that way.  A+, actually.

So today's Ephiphany looks like this:  Thou shalt not pile extra upon thyself; if thou art up to doing  extra, great.  If not . . .relax and enjoy life!

You see, it's when I start piling other stuff on top of that goal that I start to think "Oh, no!  I am not doing so great!"

The temptation for me is to pile great big expectations upon myself.

Getting up by seven every day in January is NOT ENOUGH.  I must also

~ establish a morning routine and cross everything off of that list EVERYDAY

~ buy ONLY healthy and ON SALE food

~ Blog in a witty and consistent manner.  Daily!

~ Be nice to Hubby and Children.  Always!

~ Find New Friends because we just moved here and I am lonely.   Find them NOW!!!!

~ Find awesome recipes, pin them;  cook them.  File them in a "real" cookbook.  Put them on a calendar so I have my meals planned for the YEAR.

It's time for me to Stop, Drop the Expectations and Relax and Enjoy Life so that my little family can enjoy life, too.  :)

I hope you are all relaxed at your house!  I'm still itching a little to go out there and push myself really hard to DO MORE STUFF but I'm trying really hard not to give into that urge because a tired Momma that can't do anything is not useful to anybody.  So for now the plan is to go, make a list of what HAS to be done and do only that.  And if I accidentally get some energy, by George, I'll let myself do more.  Now:

Be Well, My Friends,

~ Jennifer

The Great Rebuild

I've been blogging rather consistently this month.

As I've blogged I've wondered what this blog should be.

I've kind of decided:  it will be the story of 2014.  2014:  Year of the Goal.  2014:  Year of the Great Rebuild.  Hopefully not 2014, Year of Tears and Gnashing of Teeth . . .yes, that was sarcasm.  :)

Questions I'm asking myself are things like this:  should I blog this blog for a set amount of time and then switch to a better format, one with graphics and links to other blogs?  Should I try to do series like some people or just go off the cuff like I have been?

For now I'm staying plain as peas.  Why?  Well, I like to read books and they almost always have great cover art but once you get inside it's just black and white.  So I'm going to trust that if someone starts to read my blog and likes what I have to say they will stay for the content, not for whatever graphics I might be able to find.  I barely have time for content, let alone time to find awesome graphics!

And I'm going to make a list of goals that I'd like to accomplish this year SOMEWHERE and I'll think about them and talk to Hubby about them and then I may publish that master list here on the blog and use that as a rough calendar guide . . .but then again, maybe I won't.

I think this will end up being part journal, part goal setting/accomplishing strategies and part "What it's like to rebuild your life when circumstances have changed your game plan up completely!"

And here are some more questions:

Should I continue to talk about Bipolar II if I change to a "better" blog format in the future?  Should I actually ever link my Facebook profile to this blog?  I don't think many of the people that I know "in real life" are aware of my actual diagnosis except for my family and the people of my hometown who witnessed how wretched I was during the time that my first episode swept me off my feet in more of a violent hurricane sort of way than a "prince with a princess" sort of way.

It might be helpful to other people with Bipolar if I talk about it, or to the families of people with Bipolar if I talk about it.  Granted every person with Bipolar has a different story, but we do share similarities.

Well, it looks like my fifteen minutes of pondering the future . . .my Great Rebuild . . .are up.  I'll touch base with you soon.

Be Well,

~ Jenn

Choosing People over Things

Today I have a companion during my writing time.  She has lovely hair that sticks out every which way, footie pajamas and is humming while she colors in her Minnie Mouse coloring book at the other end of the table.  I try to blog while she is sleeping but obviously, that doesn't always happen.

Again I am reminded that I get to CHOOSE.

I get to CHOOSE whether I am irritated that my child is interrupting "my" time or whether I am amused by her antics and patient with her, even when she colors on the wall.  (  It's time for Plan B.  No more crayons;  we switch to Cheerios instead).

Day after day we get to choose to put people over things.

When I was a little girl I had a dollhouse.  It had a family of dolls that came with it as well as some "extra" dolls.  It had lots of furniture.  I spent hours playing with that dollhouse!  I loved it.

Every doll had a name and a personality.  They had certain ways of interacting with each other.

I also had a best friend.

Guess what?  Best Friend came over one day and we took the dollhouse out on the lawn.  We start to play and it was a disaster.  I could not get past the fact that Best Friend was changing the way that the characters were "supposed" to act.

"She would never say that!"

"He doesn't like spaghetti.  The mother never cooks spaghetti!"

Needless to say, I don't have many memories of playing with that dollhouse with anybody else.

I remember my little sister saying to me one time "Why do we always have to take walks where you want to go?"

I was a kid, yes.  And I was acting like a child.  Immature.  Selfish.  The grown-up thing is to consider other people and live your life in such a way that everyone is treated well.  You must take care of yourself, yes.  But not to the point that you are treating others like they are inconveniences that make you want to roll your eyes and stomp around the kitchen as you slave over their breakfast or some other mundane task. . .

I'm not that kid anymore.  Now I am a mother and a wife and I have a choice.  Every day I get to choose to be immature and selfish by putting my wants and desires first.  I can also choose to "put them first" but do it with a very poor attitude . . .and that isn't putting them first at all.   It doesn't benefit me, either.

So I must be intentional.  I must, on purpose, choose to be generous with my smiles and my patience. I must choose to create the habits that will allow me to carve out time to be relaxed, to figure out how to best manage my resources.  It's all about choosing people over things.

And when I am making a soup, or loading or unloading the dishwasher and I get interrupted by a pair of sticky hands or a math question . . .I must choose to pause, look into the eyes of my beloved ones and listen.

It took me a long time to realize that my automatic thought processes were not always "okay."  My mom had already drilled into me that I couldn't just blurt out every thought I had, nor could I just impulsively DO whatever I wanted to do.  But for some reason it took me a very long time to realize that my thought life had to be intentional, too.

I must be intentional in how I view people and relationships if I want that area of my life to thrive.

That is why I choose to put people over things.

That is how I love.

That is what it's really all about.

With Love from Me to You,

Go Forth and Do,

~  Jennifer