Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Don't Be a Chicken

When somebody reveals a struggle to you, don't be a chicken.

When my parents used to raise baby chicks we always had to be very careful not to leave a little chick with an open sore around the other little chickens because once that sore was discovered they'd peck and peck at it until the wounded chicken died.

Don't be a chicken.  Bind that wound up.  Help them fly, not flounder.

This is why God created you with hands, not feathers.  :)

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Finding the Motivation to Do Your Devotions, Part 3

So these are the points I hope you've gotten from parts one and two:

1.  Seeking God is a choice we make and it does matter.
2.  We need to seek God's face to know His will.  

Maybe you think I'm being a little overly dramatic here . . .but please understand,  I'm not one of these people who was saved out of a godless background.  God has been a part of my life since before I could speak.  I was born on Wednesday and in church on Sunday!  And then again on Wednesday and so on and so forth all my life.   Anybody that goes to church that much starts to think they've heard it all after awhile.  The natural thing to do is to start thinking that you've got this God thing down and then God doesn't get your best because you feel you don't have to think about God that much because you've already been there and done that.  The problem is, God likes that attitude just about as much as a wife likes this statement "I told you on our wedding day that I love you.  If anything ever changes, I'll let you know."

Nope, not okay.  A woman wants the love of her life to be in love with her forever!  She wants to share private jokes with him . . .she wants that little touch when nobody is looking and she knows it doesn't mean he wants something from her right then. . .it just means he loves her.  A woman wants all that.   Why?  Because it means that her husband STILL only has eyes for her.  That's the kind of woman who doesn't freak out when she's out with her husband and some young thing that looks amazing in yoga pants walks by because she knows that her hubby only has eyes for her.  Oh, she knows he saw the young thing, but she also knows he's trained himself not to look at that girl and think about the girl.   She knows this because every single day they talk and he shows her with his words and his actions that she is still his one and only.

That is what God is looking for in a relationship, too.  He wants your heart.  He wants my heart.  And He wants to His way to be our first choice.  And the beautiful thing is this . . .when we give Him first place, it makes OUR lives so much better.

Which leads me to my third point.

Sin is toxic and sin is powerful.  We've already discussed how it is so easy to believe that not communing with God is just . . .well, not that big a deal.  But now we're going to go a step further and label ignoring God a sin.

The thing is, if you aren't thinking about God, you will be thinking about something.  If you aren't thinking God's thoughts, you will be thinking other thoughts.

Now I know that there are a lot of what we will call "nuetral" thoughts out there and those aren't bad at all.  Those are thoughts like "I wonder if switching laundry detergents would make that rash on Johnny go away?"  Or thoughts like "If I get Susie a leapfrog will she finally want to think about her letters and spend some time learning how to read?"

It might be thoughts like "Grandma sure looks good for being 99 years old!  Wow, I hope I look like that when I turn 99!"

We should have those kinds of thoughts.  But the kinds of thoughts that we need to know exist are the kinds of thoughts that sneak up on us and try to destroy us.  Those thoughts have the potential to become sin.  I have a hard time even typing that concept.  I have a hard time with it because I have dealt with thoughts that wanted to destroy me and I thought that they were formed by me and therefore an extension of myself and I would never purposely try to destroy myself.  I resent the implication, for example, that depression is a spiritual problem.  I don't think that.  But what I do think is that depression puts us in a vulnerable place where these thoughts can become sin, ie,  toxic and powerful.

Let me try to explain what I mean.  Let's use the example of a boy and a truck.  Let's call the boy Sam.  Everyday Sam goes to work after school.  One day on his way to work he sees a really cool truck.   He admires it.  Nothing wrong with that.  What would be wrong is if Sam found out that it is a one of a kind truck and not for sale and then if Sam began to obsess about that truck and how to obtain it and if Sam started to maybe sneak out of the house at night and go over and touch the truck and dream about driving around in it and that kind of thing.

See, we ALL have thoughts that come knocking on our door and if we are wise enough to recognize them as just thoughts that we should "let go" then that's great.  But if we aren't reading the Bible and praying, chances are we're going to get a thought that we should let go, but for some reason, we're going to pick it up and handle it.  And obsess on it.  And if we aren't careful, that thing is going to stick to us like a flea to a dog.  We aren't going to be able to get rid of it on our own.

So the third thing that should motivate you to do your devotions is this:  you need God because without Him you aren't going to recognize those thoughts that want to destroy you AND even if you do recognize them as toxic and powerful,  you are going to need help getting rid of them.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Finding the Motivation to Do Your Devotions, part 2

We have do our devotions if we want to know God's way.

Otherwise it's so easy to think . . .oh wow!  This is a GOOD THING.  It's obvious to me that I am to do XYZ thing.  But . . .not so fast.  God might have another idea about things.

My youngest is three.  She's got big brown eyes and blond curls and she is super adorable.

I forget sometimes that she's just three because she really is quite precocious.  But then she'll remind me.  A couple days after Valentines Day I was reminded once again that Little Miss hasn't quite grasped the Ten Commandments yet.

Candy is a big deal at our house.  We only do candy on special occasions . . .so, like I said, it is a BIG DEAL.  Now that Firstborn has a job she can buy her own candy . . .and she does!  We do have a rule "No eating something in front of other people unless you are willing to share."  Firstborn is quite aware of this rule and she abides by it.

We have another rule, too.  "Thou Shalt Not Go Into Big Sister's Room Unless You Are Invited In."

And of course, we try to live by the Ten Commandments.  You knew I was going to get back to that!

So anyway, Little Miss burst into the kitchen with dark chocolate in her hands a couple of days after Valentines Day.  Not just a little bit, either, but at least ten squares and a rather impressive dark chocolate turtle.  She was pretty excited because, wow! Candy!  How could this not be a good thing?

At first I figured that somebody had shared with her, but I quickly discarded that theory!  One doesn't NOT give that much candy to a three year old!  And then I knew . . .

Little Miss had violated the Sister Room Law!  But worse than that, she had STOLEN.

I'm not sure she even knew the word or the concept, but I took her little chin in my hand and I explained to her that she could not take Sis's candy.  Daddy took her downstairs and she returned the chocolate and learned how to apologize.

Little Miss is going to have a better life now than she would have if she had learned ( by not getting taught ) to take other people's stuff.

And you know?  I spent quite a few years pretty much convinced that I didn't need to pray.  Not really, because I was sure I knew God's will.  Bible college?  Of course.  How could that not be God's will?  Full time ministry?  Of course!  Of course!  How could that not be God's will?

And yet . . .my life still had problems.  Was it because Bible college was a bad thing?  No.

Was it because full time ministry was a bad thing?  Well, full time ministry is NOT a bad thing, but I'm pretty convinced now that it was not MY thing.

And the problems?  I don't think God chose it for me.  I think it happened because we hit some major stressors . . .like everybody else on planet earth.

God promises to make all things beautiful in His time.  And He has made my life beautiful since these things happened . . .I've taken chances I probably never would have taken before  and I'm super glad that my family and I have grown and changed the way we have.

But without us being willing to listen to God and accept that maybe we DIDN'T know God's will . . .none of the beautiful changes would have happened.

If Little Miss hadn't stolen, she wouldn't have learned that it was WRONG and she wouldn't have learned how to apologize . . .but she had to LISTEN to me to learn that lesson.  Had she gone somewhere else and eaten the chocolate instead of coming to me . . .no lesson learned.

I'm somebody's child, too, and I have to share my life with Him to know His thoughts on things, too.

And I have to listen to God to learn His lessons and that listening can't happen unless I read my Bible and pray . . .unless I am in the same room as Him, interacting with Him. 

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Finding the Motivation to Do Your Devotions

The Bible clearly tells us to seek God.  I mean, it's so important that Matthew 6:33 says But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness:  and all these things shall be added unto you.

In Matthew 16:24 Jesus says If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

Verse 25 and 26 continue on . . .

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it;  and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.  For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?  or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul.

I'm not going to go into a big discussion about salvation and whether or not you can or can't lose your salvation.  I happen to believe that once you are saved, God's got you and He isn't going to let go, no way, no how.

But I also believe this:  yeah, you might have a one way ticket to heaven, but you also have this thing called Free Will.  And what that means is this:  you can still choose whether to have God's best for you or not.

The Bible is full of verses about sin and how it leads to death.  For a long time I thought that meant that if you didn't get saved, ie, repent of your sin and trust Jesus to take your sins away then you would go to hell.  I still believe that.

But now I believe something else, too.   And let me just make this as clear as I possibly can . . .

Sin can ruin ANYBODY'S life, whether they are guaranteed heaven or not.

Every person gets to choose whether their life will be wrecked by sin or not.

Often the sin that derails us is so subtle that we do not even recognize it as sin.  

And now for a story.  Let's pretend for a moment that you are a gorgeous young thing.  You're on vacation in Key West.  You're staying in a quaint little house and when you open the closet to put your things away, you see something pushed way back in the corner.  When you pull it out you see that it is a box of d-con, rat and mouse poison.  Gross!  Do you take the poison?  Um, no.  You probably shriek and push it back with a hanger or something so you never have to see it again.

Then you put on something that makes you look even better than usual and you go out.  Now Key West is such a fun little town . . .and one of the things that makes it fun is the live music.  Somebody's always playing somewhere and you find yourself at The Hogfish Bar and Grill.  You're there with a friend and after you eat the two of you realize that Hogfish sits at the end of a row of buildings that is basically jutting out into the ocean.  And you see that this is a cool place filled with artists and people living on boats . . .it feels very safe and there are even cats coming up to say "hi."

So you walk around and explore and breath in the smell of flowers and herbs and of course, the smell of grilled meat and fish from Hogfish.  It's all very relaxing, especially when the live music starts and the little lights come on all over the masts on the boats and the twinkly lights that have been strung start twinkling and even though you've heard of people slipping drugs into the drinks of young girls, you have a hard time believing that could ever happen to you and you are very tempted to drink whatever it is that the cute guys from the table next to you offer you . . .but for all you know it's just as bad as the d-con that you discovered back in your room.

You might think that making the right choice is a no-brainer, but I tell you what . . .I lived in Key West for awhile . . .I lived on a Caribbean island for awhile and I was shocked and horrified by the chances that some of my young friends took.  One girl started drinking with strangers at ten in the morning and woke up the next day in her bed completely missing a few hours worth of memories.  And we're talking a SMART GIRL with a four year degree and a job that many people would envy.

Anybody who reads about doing their devotions is a person who is interested in spiritual things.  So that right there tells me that you, dear reader, care about God and about your relationship to Him. 

But guess who else cares about your relationship to God?  That guy with the horns and the pointy tail.  Okay, so he actually doesn't come to you wearing that outfit.  He dresses much cooler.  In fact, he's got this suit that makes him appear invisible and that is what he likes to wear and how he likes to present his poison . . .

The Devil wants you to believe that He is not interested in you.  And the sins that He wants you to have in your life are not going to be labeled SIN with skull and crossbones symbols on them.

They are going to be little thoughts like this one right here "It doesn't matter if I read my Bible right now or not.  I can always read it later.  It doesn't matter that much if I don't pray . . .I suck at praying and God knows my heart so He'll forgive me and I can do this later."

It will be things like this thought "Oh my gosh, I am such a loser!  I'm not good at anything. I'm not even going to try to develop XYZ talent that I have because it's hard and what's the point?  Nobody needs my contribution anyway."

So, brief recap.

One, we're supposed to seek God.

Two, it's easy to believe that it isn't important.

And my last point is this.  YOU are the one who has to decide that it is going to happen because it is important.  Otherwise it won't happen and that is super sad because God has an AMAZING plan for you and ignoring Him will keep it from ever materializing.  Ignoring God might not feel like taking a chance or even like a choice, but it is.  Think about it.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Lucky I'm in Love with My Best Friend ~ What My Hubby Taught Me about God

Lucky I'm in Love with My Best Friend ~ What My Hubby Taught Me about God

My Hubby had to be a pretty great guy or I wouldn't have married him.  I had my ideas about what I wanted as far as somebody to raise a family with.  I always knew that children were in my future.  I wanted somebody who believed in God and was committed to Him.  Our first date was a double date and we didn't do any "serious" talking then.

But our next date was just him and I and we went and sat in the park and I "interviewed" him about where he was going with his life.  What neither of us knew then was that it's pretty hard to know at eighteen how life is going to go!  But I liked what I heard and so I decided it would be safe to spend time with this guy . . .

Fast forward a few years and, oh my poor Hubby!  I turned into a bowl of quivering jello, courtesy of an unexpected illness.  I was a mess.  I could barely function for months.

This is when Hubby taught me about God.  He didn't talk about God.  No, he lived like God.

We spent hours just intertwined on the couch watching Netflix.  He was patient with my inability to cook and clean.  He didn't complain about the mess.  Maybe he knew that I was tormenting myself.  I don't know.  He did tell me, later, that he knew I sick and that he could look into my eyes and it looked like I was being tortured.  He was there and that was the main thing.  I didn't have to justify myself to him because he knew I hated what was happening and he didn't blame me. 

The illness took a toll on my relationship with God.  Not only was it very difficult to concentrate and understand what I was reading . . .it was hard to pray because I didn't think I could express myself.  And I could not feel God's presence.  I felt like somebody had trapped me in a big glass jar and no matter how I tried to read through the glass, or shout through the glass, no one, including God could hear me.  Not only did this frustrate me, it also made me quite angry at God for allowing it.

Later, when I could think again, I had to make the conscious choice to rebuild my relationship with God.  As I was I was getting reaquainted God, there would be times when I'd find myself trying to pray and it was ugly because I was just saying "I'm sorry, God, I'm sorry!  I know I should be doing this or that and I'm sorry that my thoughts are so negative but  . . .blah, blah, blah."  After a prayer like that I felt AWFUL and I sure didn't want to pray anymore. 

And then one day it hit me.  Would I talk to Hubby like that?  If I messed up with him, how would I handle it?  Well, this is how I would handle it.  I would own my mistake and I would make sure I had his attention, and that it was a good time to talk and then I would tell him, once, that I was sorry and we'd deal with how to handle the situation the next time.  Then we'd let it be.  In our marriage once a topic is dealt with we don't drag it up again.

So that is how I started praying.  I stopped berating myself to God.  You know what?  That was a good choice.

And then I also thought about how Hubby and I really enjoy just being together.  Our relationship is not about having to accomplish things.  It's not a checklist that we have to tick off.  Granted, there are things we have to get done, but the best times are when we're cooking together, or curled up together on the couch talking or watching a show or he's showing me something he found that he's interested in or I'm telling him about ideas I've got about things . . .

So how do you do that with God?  How do you just Be With Him?  Here are a few things I've tried.

Prayerwalking.  I love this concept.  I set the timer for a certain amount of time or I decide I'm going to walk to a certain place and then back and I go . . .and I just talk to God.    Sometimes it's hard to know what to say so often I follow the JOY acronym ( Jesus, Others, Yourself).  This makes sense because again, the idea is to treat God like a real person, a person that we treasure our relationship with.   I might start out like, "So God, thank you that you are always faithful, thank you for this beautiful day, etc."  ( If He was an earthly friend you'd be asking Him what was new but since God is unchanging, go ahead and thank Him for what you know Him to be.)  Then I might move into intercessory pray . . .praying for others.  I'll share what's going on with Hubby and the kids and I'll ask God to be with them and I'll thank Him for the ways that I know He is with them.  Finally, I'll talk about me and my personal struggles, triumphs, etc. 

And as silly as it might sound, I also find God when I'm washing dishes.  Since we have multiple children, we have multiple dishes.  I do dishes a lot.  I used to hate the dishes and would avoid them as much as possible.  But I have changed my attitude towards the dishes and I could devote an entire to blog post to that shift in my thinking!  But let me just say that as I wash each dish I let myself think about where it came from and who it reminds me of and I pray for that person and I thank God for the place and time period that the dish came out of.  It's a fun way to reflect on my life and the good in it.

Then there are the moments when I'm in my car driving to pick up my daughter or after I've dropped her off.  It's just me and God and I talk to Him about whatever is on my mind.  Maybe I comment on the scenery or maybe I tell Him about the conversation that I had with my son and ask God for His input.  And sometimes I just put on Christian music and praise Him through those words.

It boils down to this.  Hubby's a good guy, so he treats me with respect, with love.  He does his best to make me happy . . .and I do the same for him. That is how it is with God.  God is the ultimate Good Guy.  So when you're trying to figure out how to interact with God, remember that.  He loves you;  He respects you . . .and that's how He wants you to treat yourself . . .and Him. 



Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Dark Night of the Soul, Part Two

So in the first post that I wrote about the "Dark Night of the Soul" I mentioned that I was really angry that I couldn't feel God during and after a depression I went through.

I had felt the depression coming.  I'd found a book about depression and Christianity and I'd read it and followed it the best I knew how and yet, I "lost" God.

I continued to go to church but it was really hard for me when other people talked about feeling God and I couldn't feel Him at all.  I remember getting SO angry at a lady in a Bible Study because I felt like it was very unfair that she was having this great time with God and I wasn't.  I actually felt judged by her though I know she had no idea of what I was going through.

So anyway, here are just a few of my rough thoughts on this subject because I want you to know that if you are feeling so alone and unloved by God, you are not the only person who has gone through this.

Here's my advice.

Get the Bible in you, even if you don't want to read the Bible.

Here's how I am getting the Bible in me.  I have a collection of books that I've picked up here and there.  Two of them are by Stormie Omartian.  At the end of each of her chapters is a list of Bible Verses.  I have been setting my timer for ten minutes.   I started at 7 minutes because I was so afraid that it would work . . .that I'd read the Bible and it wouldn't make any difference.  But anyway,  I read the Bible verses first.  Then I go back and read the chapter.  Sometimes I highlight parts of her writing, if they seem like they really speak to me.

I also have a book entitled Praying the Entire Bible for My Family by Joe and Jcelyn Zichterman.  This book has taken Bible verses and rewritten them in prayer format.  Every day of the year has verses assigned to it.  So on the days that I choose to use that book I turn to the day and read those verses.  Then I go back and read in the beginning of the book until the timer goes off.  Sometimes I take notes on this book as it is so full of insight.

If you don't have access to any of the above mentioned books, grab your Bible and read the Proverb that corresponds to the day of the month.  Or start at the beginning of Psalms and read through Psalms.

And do pray.

One of the prayers that I prayed awhile ago, and sometimes find myself still praying goes like this.

Lord, please show me how to get rid of this sadness.  And if I am not meant to be rid of it, please help me to accept it.

Ironically, it seems like the books that I have picked up and mentioned in this post and the previous one all deal with the sadness that pulls at the human soul.  I'll talk more about this topic later.

For now, let me encourage you to pick up your own timer, Bible and something to underline with or take notes in or on.  And if you feel like you just can't pray, tell God that and ask Him to help you learn how to pray and tell Him that you want to feel His presence.

But the most important thing is to show up.

I think God is like the other beings in our lives  ( I say beings because if you are an animal person rather than a people person, this applies to our furry friends, too).  You can be in the same room with a person but if you ignore them, even if they try to talk to you, the relationship is going to be ugly.

If you are in a bad depression, it's kind of like having a pair of dark glasses on and earbuds that are playing nasty music.  You may be in the same room as somebody else, but you aren't seeing or hearing them clearly.  It's not their fault . . .I think that is why for a long time I couldn't perceive God. 

But He is helping me get those glasses cleaned off and He's helping me get better music going through my earbuds.

I've got hope now that I didn't have for a very long time.  And you can have hope, too.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

The Gift I'm Giving my Toddler

Do you remember the story about Princess Aurora?  All the fairies gave her gifts at her christening.  I believe they were things like beauty and song.

But I want to give my baby the gift of . . . the gift of . . .

Organization!

So that is what is going to motivate me to go through her toys and get them all in containers and make it possible for her to put everything away because things will all have a place.

There's no way to keep things properly put away unless those things have a place.

My Hubby has said, more than once, that he wishes he had been made to keep his room tidy and to do his laundry in a timely manner, etc.  And so, my dear . . .my lovely child . . .let us go to your room together.

Let us box up the things that have no home and keep them boxed up until we can find them a home.

And in the meantime, let us make your bed daily and daily pick up the trash and daily let us be tidy. 

Go ahead and make a mess and be creative during the day.  We'll make forts that you can leave messes in overnight.  I'll let you paint in the bathtub and make mudpies and splash in puddles.  I want you to explore and enjoy learning what this big world has to offer.

But  before bed, when it's time to wind down for the night, we will have a quick tidy time.  Together.  With a good attitude.  Because I love you.

~ Mom

Dark Night of the Soul

So I wonder how many of us Christians out there would admit that going to church is very easy compared to reading our Bibles and praying every single day.

Me.  I'll admit it.  I'll raise my hand and say "Yeah, that's hard for me."

At one point I was REALLY good at reading my Bible and praying everyday.  Oh, more than one point in my life.  I remember some pretty awesome times with my notebook and pencil, making up acrostic prayers based on my baby girl's name.

I can still remember that prayer for her.  The first line goes "Keep her and protect her."

Sadly, after my first major bipolar incident my faith suffered a direct hit.  I was really angry that God allowed me to be in a place where I could not feel Him and I took it REALLY personally.  Since then I've discovered that many, many people have gone through the same feeling of being unable to connect to God.

If you'd like to read more about that topic, check out the book Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference? by Philip Yancey and also The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.

What a surprise to find that I was not the only person who couldn't concentrate to read the Bible!  I wasn't the only person who prayed . . .and felt . . .and saw . . .NOTHING.

A Catholic friend of mine told me that in her faith this is called "The Dark Night of the Soul."  Sound just about right to me because that is exactly how I felt about my faith.  Like it wasn't a real thing at all.

And yet something in me refused to believe that God wasn't real, that I should stop believing. 

This January I was NOT going to make any New Year's Resolutions.  I have made them before they haven't stuck.  Then I feel like a failure and try to forget that I ever had that idea in the first place.  I decided just to avoid that whole painful process and treat January like any other month by keeping on with my regularly scheduled life.

God, however, it seems, had a different idea.

Google Fresh Life Church, Creature of Habit, Levi Lusko, if you'd like to hear or see the sermons that made me decide to give doing my devotions another shot.  ( And walking the dog daily, but that is a different topic!)

Pastor Levi made two statements that really stuck with me.

One, he asked the audience to think about what habits they would be thankful they had developed ten years from now.  And two, he informed us all just how much time the average person spends on social media every day.  I have to tell you . . .I deleted Facebook off of my phone and had to go through a few days of withdrawal.  I know, I know.  Not cool.  I had just gotten to the point that if I was in the bathroom, I checked FB.  If I was standing in the kitchen, not wanting to do the dishes, I checked FB.  At the park, annoyed with my toddler . . .check FB.  I was checking out of my daily life several times a day by running to FB so I didn't have to think my own thoughts or deal with irritations.

An amazing thing happened when I got rid of FB on my phone.  I became SUPER productive.  This is because I became BORED for the first time in a very long time and had to come up with my own thoughts and ideas.  I don't remember where exactly I listened to it, but there is a podcast out there, perhaps RadioLab, that discusses this very topic . . .how smartphones are addictive and how people never get bored anymore and how that is BAD because then you are not forced to become creative.

I did become creative.  I looked around my bedroom and thought, "You know, I'd really love to make this a beautiful place, a retreat from the craziness of our everyday life."  Over a couple of months our bedroom went from a mattress on the floor, mismatched lamps, piles of disorganized stuff everywhere and really not very nice curtains to something that could almost be in a magazine.  Almost.  I still want to paint the dresser and the nightstands before I am "there."  And I need to find some living plants to put around because I love plants.  I was surprised at how Hubby was all for it when I started to share my ideas with him.  He had ideas, too . . .and really good ones.

But the point is . . .it all started with a sermon on God?  And making Him a priority?  Amazing how your life starts to fall into place when you start to seek Him. 

I do set my timer every morning and I read my Bible and a devotional book . . .right now I'm working through Stormie's Power of a Praying Woman.  And then I go walk the dog.  I am training her to heel and my goal is to get her to where I can walk her and she will stay beside me and then I can pray, undistracted, for 20 minutes a day while I walk.  We aren't there yet.  I have to stop ALL the time and tell her to heel.  But she's better than she was.

Anyway, just popping in to say that if you are in a "Dark Night of the Soul" moment, it's okay.  Reach towards God. He'll reach back, even if you can't feel Him.  And it will get better.