Rambling on Bipolar and Goals and Going Forth and Doing

Did I mention in the last entry that I am going to be reading quite a lot this year?

I like to read.  I have been an avid reader since I was a little girl, but lately I have not read much other than my Facebook feed and the blogs that are posted to it on a regular basis.  While some of these pieces are certainly worth the time and effort it takes to read them they are not books, just like this is NOT a book, though I hope you enjoy it.

So yesterday, while Hubby and I waited for the ball to drop in New York, I downloaded free books on my Kindle.  I was pleased that many of the free books are non-fiction, though there are not nearly as many biographies as I would like.

And of course I had to download some fluffy fiction.  It's fun to get lost in someone else's angst now and then . . .and a book lets you do that without the side effect of drama and accidentally giving someone horrid advice and having it backfire all over you!

Anyway, I guess reading is part of my New Year's Resolutions.  Reading, but not just reading.  Reading and then jotting down the concepts that I find applicable to my life and learning how to implement them.

That means not just skimming.  I am great at skimming.  Dh is annoyed by the way I fly through books and is quite sure that I only read every other word.  He may be right, but I do get the jist of the story and if necessary, I can always flip back and reread.

It occurred to me this morning that there may be a whole demographic of people who might look at the title of this blog and immediately dismiss it.  After all, Bipolar!

It is commonly known that Bipolar is not a title that anyone asks to have bestowed upon them.

And yet we who have been called "Bipolar" know ( if we've done any research on it at all) that there are so many people who have accomplished SO much in spite of their condition or in some instances, because of it.  I don't know how much of the genius of some of these people was fueled by mania, or their charm by hypomania.  Just check out this link:

http://www.famousbipolarpeople.com

It makes a person wonder . . .what does it do to the path a person might have walked when one chooses to eliminate highs and lows and be stable?  Still, I'll stick to my meds because I value my life too much to risk becoming suicidal and ending everything.  I couldn't help but notice Marilyn Monroe and Kurt Cobain on the list and immediately I thought of how their lives ended.

In another entry I talked about Abraham Lincoln and how at times his friends took turns staying with him because he was so depressed that he had no desire to live.

And yet here I am, sitting in my dining room, in my normal house in a normal neighborhood . . .blogging about universal themes ( God, keeping order in my day-to-day living, parenting, etc.) These things have nothing to do with my Bipolar because, thank God, I am stable at the moment.

The only way my Bipolar is affecting me now is when I think back about the story I have written by my actions in the past several years.  I know that there are moves that Hubby and I would not have made, friendships that never would have occurred if I hadn't had that first very traumatic episode.

I do mourn our lack of some of the "things" that other people who have lived their lives very steadily, like the tortoise.  Hubby and I are more like the hare.  We have experienced some amazing adventures ( life on a tropical island with your three children, anyone?) but then after that we had some tremendous setbacks .  . .like the hare waking up from his nap.

But life is not a competition and the best I can do is figure out what I am supposed to be doing at this point in my life ( some of the things I am to do are SO obvious and others are not clear at all) and then I must GO FORTH and DO.

I'd love to hear what other people know they are supposed to be doing and how they plan to accomplish their goals.

Do you care to share?

~ Jennifer