Dark Night of the Soul, Part Two

So in the first post that I wrote about the "Dark Night of the Soul" I mentioned that I was really angry that I couldn't feel God during and after a depression I went through.

I had felt the depression coming.  I'd found a book about depression and Christianity and I'd read it and followed it the best I knew how and yet, I "lost" God.

I continued to go to church but it was really hard for me when other people talked about feeling God and I couldn't feel Him at all.  I remember getting SO angry at a lady in a Bible Study because I felt like it was very unfair that she was having this great time with God and I wasn't.  I actually felt judged by her though I know she had no idea of what I was going through.

So anyway, here are just a few of my rough thoughts on this subject because I want you to know that if you are feeling so alone and unloved by God, you are not the only person who has gone through this.

Here's my advice.

Get the Bible in you, even if you don't want to read the Bible.

Here's how I am getting the Bible in me.  I have a collection of books that I've picked up here and there.  Two of them are by Stormie Omartian.  At the end of each of her chapters is a list of Bible Verses.  I have been setting my timer for ten minutes.   I started at 7 minutes because I was so afraid that it would work . . .that I'd read the Bible and it wouldn't make any difference.  But anyway,  I read the Bible verses first.  Then I go back and read the chapter.  Sometimes I highlight parts of her writing, if they seem like they really speak to me.

I also have a book entitled Praying the Entire Bible for My Family by Joe and Jcelyn Zichterman.  This book has taken Bible verses and rewritten them in prayer format.  Every day of the year has verses assigned to it.  So on the days that I choose to use that book I turn to the day and read those verses.  Then I go back and read in the beginning of the book until the timer goes off.  Sometimes I take notes on this book as it is so full of insight.

If you don't have access to any of the above mentioned books, grab your Bible and read the Proverb that corresponds to the day of the month.  Or start at the beginning of Psalms and read through Psalms.

And do pray.

One of the prayers that I prayed awhile ago, and sometimes find myself still praying goes like this.

Lord, please show me how to get rid of this sadness.  And if I am not meant to be rid of it, please help me to accept it.

Ironically, it seems like the books that I have picked up and mentioned in this post and the previous one all deal with the sadness that pulls at the human soul.  I'll talk more about this topic later.

For now, let me encourage you to pick up your own timer, Bible and something to underline with or take notes in or on.  And if you feel like you just can't pray, tell God that and ask Him to help you learn how to pray and tell Him that you want to feel His presence.

But the most important thing is to show up.

I think God is like the other beings in our lives  ( I say beings because if you are an animal person rather than a people person, this applies to our furry friends, too).  You can be in the same room with a person but if you ignore them, even if they try to talk to you, the relationship is going to be ugly.

If you are in a bad depression, it's kind of like having a pair of dark glasses on and earbuds that are playing nasty music.  You may be in the same room as somebody else, but you aren't seeing or hearing them clearly.  It's not their fault . . .I think that is why for a long time I couldn't perceive God. 

But He is helping me get those glasses cleaned off and He's helping me get better music going through my earbuds.

I've got hope now that I didn't have for a very long time.  And you can have hope, too.