I am in a Bible Study group. It meets every week and we are reading Lord, Change My Attitude Before It's Too Late by James MacDonald.
Perhaps I should explain that faith is one of those concepts I've always found challenging. I suppose I'm not unusual in that regard . . .don't we all like to be able to explain to ourselves and others why things work the way they do?
There was a time in my life when I bemoaned my lack of faith; I would say things to God like this "I'm sorry God! I wish I had more faith but I just don't and I don't know how to fix it, either!"
I thought this way for decades. I know I did because I can remember the first time I really agonized over my lack of faith . . .I knew that to please God I needed faith and I was afraid I just didn't have it.
But what's a girl to do? I just kept going. I went to church, I read my Bible, I prayed. I was thankful for the good things in my life.
There were times in my life when bad things happened and it was okay. I mean, it really was fine. Like when our house burned down. I remember standing outside of our house in a crowd of people who were just plain gawking. They'd seen the smoke and the flames from a distance and they'd come to watch.
I stood among them and watched as though it wasn't my bedroom window that the flames were billowing out of, as though I didn't know every picture on the wall, every quilt, every book on the shelves.
And I said something like "Okay, God. This is too big for us to fix. You're going to have to do it." Yep, faith.
He was extremely good to us. God's people surrounded us and provided the money and the resources to get us back on our feet. The one thing that I really mourned was the loss of some pictures . . .scrapbooks I hadn't been able to get out.
A few months after the fire Hubby and I drove out there and all of the wreckage had been bulldozed into this massive pile. In retrospect what I did was stupid, but I climbed that pile. And I found the charred remains of my scrapbooks! Not everything was able to be saved, but I was able to peel the top and the bottom off . . .and what was in the middle . . .not the sides, mind you, was still there. It was awesome.
During that time it was very easy to be thankful as people gave to us. It was easy to have faith that things would turn out the way they should.
Without going into all the sordid details, let me just say that I've had others times in my life when being thankful wasn't really very easy. ( and can I just say that this seems to go in cycles? I have times when being thankful is SO easy and then there are the times when it is SO hard.)
For me, being thankful had to become a conscious choice. I had to choose to wake up on cold, dreary days and look for something to be thankful for. There's always something . . .but sometimes you have to search! Believe me, I understand.
So when I read these words ( from page 56 of Lord, Change My Attitude Before It's Too Late ) I began to realize that . . .hey, this is pretty amazing and cool. I have lived this formula before and not realized it. But it worked! And it can work again!
I also realized that I have NOT lived this formula before and during that time I was miserable and my family was probably pretty miserable, too. Because whether I want to admit it or not, my attitude/condition does make their lives a lot easier or not so easy.
Anyway, the words from page 56 go like this:
"Only when we recognize God as our gracious provider do we comprehend our need for God and begin to express faith in Him. That is a very significant point. Faith grows in the soil of thankfulness."
So basically, if you are suffering from a lack of faith in your life; if you are angry at God for allowing bad things to happen to you ( I have BEEN there. I understand!), then start looking for the good. And say "Thank You!" to God. ( we know He's real because it doesn't make sense to have a world that exists without a designer . . .Romans 1:19-20)
Say "thank you" for the beauty around you. It's there. You might have to look a bit, but it's there.
Say "thank you" for the physical things you can do. My Hubby is suffering from sciatica right now. It's really horrible. But thank God, he hasn't lost control of his bowels. That's one of the side effects he might have suffered. I have always taken the ability to go potty when I want and where for granted. But guess what? It's not to be take for granted!
The ability to read! To search on your computer! To type! All of these things I take for granted are, in fact, HUGE blessings.
And if your poor brain is too tired and too tormented to focus . . .that's okay, too. God knows you want to do your best. He's knows that if you had the strength to think clearly you'd be praising to the moon.
Just enjoy knowing that His will for you is not negative, horrible thought loops. It's faith building thankful loops . . .
And if you want to think His way, He'll help with that.
Much Love,
~ Jennifer
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