This week I will go to my nice general practitioner's office. I'll sit there and I'll tell her that I think that I need to talk to somebody who knows a little bit more about mental health. Maybe a psychiatrist or maybe a therapist. Someone who can help me figure out what this tearfulness means and how I need to stop it from escalating into something else.
I have changed. I no longer say to myself "What is WRONG with you? What are you doing wrong? You shouldn't be crying."
Now I say, "Hmmm, better get this checked out. You promised yourself you'd never let this happen again ( this being the suicidal mess I became before)."
It's a little discouraging. I don't want to be a mess. I want to be happy, upbeat, cheerful. I've done my part ( except, I admit, I have not exercised lately. I'm really thinking I'll get my boots on and go out soon. But Little Girl has been really fussy and I haven't been able to put her down . . .so, that is a problem. Also, Hubby is in a lot of pain. Sciatica. Google it. You'll see how awful it is. So I've been trying to ease his troubles the best I know how.)
I am reading my Bible, listening to upbeat music, taking my vitamins. But I'm feeling sadness, like a low-grade fever.
So anyway, off I go to ask for help. Again.
So help me, God. I need it. Gotta stay sane. That's my calling. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment