Lucky I'm in Love with My Best Friend ~ What My Hubby Taught Me about God

Lucky I'm in Love with My Best Friend ~ What My Hubby Taught Me about God

My Hubby had to be a pretty great guy or I wouldn't have married him.  I had my ideas about what I wanted as far as somebody to raise a family with.  I always knew that children were in my future.  I wanted somebody who believed in God and was committed to Him.  Our first date was a double date and we didn't do any "serious" talking then.

But our next date was just him and I and we went and sat in the park and I "interviewed" him about where he was going with his life.  What neither of us knew then was that it's pretty hard to know at eighteen how life is going to go!  But I liked what I heard and so I decided it would be safe to spend time with this guy . . .

Fast forward a few years and, oh my poor Hubby!  I turned into a bowl of quivering jello, courtesy of an unexpected illness.  I was a mess.  I could barely function for months.

This is when Hubby taught me about God.  He didn't talk about God.  No, he lived like God.

We spent hours just intertwined on the couch watching Netflix.  He was patient with my inability to cook and clean.  He didn't complain about the mess.  Maybe he knew that I was tormenting myself.  I don't know.  He did tell me, later, that he knew I sick and that he could look into my eyes and it looked like I was being tortured.  He was there and that was the main thing.  I didn't have to justify myself to him because he knew I hated what was happening and he didn't blame me. 

The illness took a toll on my relationship with God.  Not only was it very difficult to concentrate and understand what I was reading . . .it was hard to pray because I didn't think I could express myself.  And I could not feel God's presence.  I felt like somebody had trapped me in a big glass jar and no matter how I tried to read through the glass, or shout through the glass, no one, including God could hear me.  Not only did this frustrate me, it also made me quite angry at God for allowing it.

Later, when I could think again, I had to make the conscious choice to rebuild my relationship with God.  As I was I was getting reaquainted God, there would be times when I'd find myself trying to pray and it was ugly because I was just saying "I'm sorry, God, I'm sorry!  I know I should be doing this or that and I'm sorry that my thoughts are so negative but  . . .blah, blah, blah."  After a prayer like that I felt AWFUL and I sure didn't want to pray anymore. 

And then one day it hit me.  Would I talk to Hubby like that?  If I messed up with him, how would I handle it?  Well, this is how I would handle it.  I would own my mistake and I would make sure I had his attention, and that it was a good time to talk and then I would tell him, once, that I was sorry and we'd deal with how to handle the situation the next time.  Then we'd let it be.  In our marriage once a topic is dealt with we don't drag it up again.

So that is how I started praying.  I stopped berating myself to God.  You know what?  That was a good choice.

And then I also thought about how Hubby and I really enjoy just being together.  Our relationship is not about having to accomplish things.  It's not a checklist that we have to tick off.  Granted, there are things we have to get done, but the best times are when we're cooking together, or curled up together on the couch talking or watching a show or he's showing me something he found that he's interested in or I'm telling him about ideas I've got about things . . .

So how do you do that with God?  How do you just Be With Him?  Here are a few things I've tried.

Prayerwalking.  I love this concept.  I set the timer for a certain amount of time or I decide I'm going to walk to a certain place and then back and I go . . .and I just talk to God.    Sometimes it's hard to know what to say so often I follow the JOY acronym ( Jesus, Others, Yourself).  This makes sense because again, the idea is to treat God like a real person, a person that we treasure our relationship with.   I might start out like, "So God, thank you that you are always faithful, thank you for this beautiful day, etc."  ( If He was an earthly friend you'd be asking Him what was new but since God is unchanging, go ahead and thank Him for what you know Him to be.)  Then I might move into intercessory pray . . .praying for others.  I'll share what's going on with Hubby and the kids and I'll ask God to be with them and I'll thank Him for the ways that I know He is with them.  Finally, I'll talk about me and my personal struggles, triumphs, etc. 

And as silly as it might sound, I also find God when I'm washing dishes.  Since we have multiple children, we have multiple dishes.  I do dishes a lot.  I used to hate the dishes and would avoid them as much as possible.  But I have changed my attitude towards the dishes and I could devote an entire to blog post to that shift in my thinking!  But let me just say that as I wash each dish I let myself think about where it came from and who it reminds me of and I pray for that person and I thank God for the place and time period that the dish came out of.  It's a fun way to reflect on my life and the good in it.

Then there are the moments when I'm in my car driving to pick up my daughter or after I've dropped her off.  It's just me and God and I talk to Him about whatever is on my mind.  Maybe I comment on the scenery or maybe I tell Him about the conversation that I had with my son and ask God for His input.  And sometimes I just put on Christian music and praise Him through those words.

It boils down to this.  Hubby's a good guy, so he treats me with respect, with love.  He does his best to make me happy . . .and I do the same for him. That is how it is with God.  God is the ultimate Good Guy.  So when you're trying to figure out how to interact with God, remember that.  He loves you;  He respects you . . .and that's how He wants you to treat yourself . . .and Him.